Every Child

Has Two Parents


My divorce and losing my daughter

Thursday, March 22, 2012



On 28 December 2011 my wife Shijima Hirasawa (平澤しじま) left me. (See timeline of events.) I was a good husband but we did not get along; she wanted a divorce and I could live with that. But I was a fantastic father and my wife also took our daughter away from me.

It goes without saying I love my daughter, but I have lost her until she reaches the age of reason. When she turns 18 years old on 9 February 2029, she can decide for herself what kind of man I am and what her mother did to her by depriving her of a father.

In this Shijima was helped by her father Haruki Hirasawa ( 平澤春樹 ), her mother Shigeri Hirasawa ( 平澤しげり ), her sister Akitsu Tajiri ( 田尻秋津 ), and her brother-in-law Iwao Tajiri ( 田尻巌 ). All these people cared only about taking my daughter, as if she was a prize to win, as if she was an object. No one cared about the effect of depriving Emilie of her father, least of all my wife.

Japan has no concept of shared custody and the country's deep dark secret is that allows the parent who snatches the child first to keep the child forever and to deprive the other parent of any visitation rights. The Economist magazine reported on this recently. Japanese are not racists and this has nothing to do with my being a foreigner. Incredibly, Japanese people do this all the time to each other!! Even former Prime Minister Koizumi (2001~2006) did this.

  1. My statement to the family court in English and also in Japanese (陳述書).

  2. The police call report (in Japanese only, 110番処理簿) about the 10 December 2011 incident when my drunk wife assaulted me. I was holding our daughter at the time.

My relationship with my daughter Emilie Poirier  (Emilie Hirasawa/平澤えみり in Japanese) is over because of my ex-wife's intransigence. She will let me have access only when she feels like it and only for as long as she feels like it. For instance she would not let me have my daughter stay with me for the weekend when my father visited me for the mediation hearings.

My ex-wife is, in my opinion, deeply emotionally disturbed due, I believe, to the domestic violence my ex-wife told me she and her mother and her sister suffered at the hands of her father, and due I also believe to her mother's utter failure to protect her children. Shijima’s first husband, an American, agrees with this and has confirmed everything she told me.

Nevertheless, despite my empathy for my ex-wife's plight, I will not let my wife use my daughter to manipulate me. Japanese courts are hopelessly biased towards the status quo: unless there is a provable clear and immediate danger to the welfare of the child, they will not take a child away from the parent who first snatched the child away. Because the fight was hopeless, because of my ex-wife's bad faith, and in order to avoid needless suffering, I signed the divorce papers and gave up parental rights to my daughter.

I hope telling my story will help in a tiny way to stop this insanity.

I love Japan and the Japanese people. So to all of you I say this.

When divorcing,
for the sake of the children
who need a mother and father equally
learn to be nice and generous
with each other.

The five people below don't know shame, so they need to learn. They are, from left to right, Shijima Hirasawa, Haruki Hirasawa, Shigeri Hirasawa, Akitsu Tajiri (née Hirasawa), and Iwao Tajiri.



Sunday, April 08, 2012




日本には、親権の分割(分属)という概念がなく、この国は、子どもを先に連れ去った親に、その子どもを永久に保護させることを許し、もう一方の親の子どもへの面会の権利の剥奪を認めるという深く暗い秘密を抱えています。このことは、最近もエコノミスト(The Economist)誌が報じています(英文のみ)。日本人は、人種差別主義者ではなく、このことは私が外国人であることとは無関係です。信じがたいことですが、日本では、親たちは、常にお互いにこのようなことをし合っているのです!日本の小泉元首相も同じことをしました











The information on this website concerns a matter of public interest, and is provided for educational and informational purposes only in order to raise public awareness of issues concerning left-behind parents. Unless otherwise indicated, the writers and translators of this website are not lawyers nor professional translators, so be sure to confirm anything important with your own lawyer.

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